It’s been four years that I no longer set goals for myself. For four years, I pursued the idea that “the best goal is no goal”. No goals absolute doesn’t mean you stop achieving things. It means you stop letting yourself be limited by goals.
Life is full of unknowns. Everything is constantly changing. We transform with each passing week, month, and year. Even though I don’t set specific goals, I do have destinations and directions in mind. However, they remain flexible, not fixed, and there’s no pressure to achieve them within a set timeline. I simply know what I want, pursue it at my own pace, and let the universe guide the rest.
At times, I’ve written down things on my bucket list that had been on my mind for years. It served as motivation for me to progress. However, when the opportunity arose, I chose not to pursue them simply because they were no longer right for me. And that’s perfectly okay!
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I live the life I love, do the things I want to pursue, all at my own pace. Sometimes, I go around and explore different paths to find the one that suits me best. I keep moving forward, enjoying the journey, and admiring the flowers along my path. Surprisingly, that journey was where I reaped more sweet fruits than all the previous stages with many rigid goals.
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As the year comes to a close, we often reflect on our goals set at the beginning of the year. I don’t have any goals to assess, but I realized it’s been a while since I reviewed my journey. So now, I sit down and see through my past journey. It’s not about looking at what achievements or big numbers I’ve achieved, or how much money I’ve earned, but reflecting on how I’ve grown and what lessons I’ve learned for myself.
And, I also won’t be setting any specific goals for the next year 2024. Instead, I’ll plant seeds of intention—things I want to aim for and lessons I hope to learn. The rest is to create favorable environmental conditions for those seeds to grow. After all, life’s journey is about growth, adaptation, and enjoying the beautiful surprises along the way.
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MILESTONES AND LESSONS IN THREE YEARS
It’s been three years since I wrote the “Things I’ve learn in 2020” blog post. (I’m thankful for writing it because even now, reading it again, I still feel those lessons deeply). In these three years, I’ve grown a lot and achieved many milestones that I’m proud of.
~ Getting Better at English
Three years ago, I was still babbling in English— struggling to listen and understand English much, not feeling confident in speaking. But now, I use English more than Vietnamese every day. I won’t say I’m an English pro; my English is only at a sufficient level. It’s enough to talk to people, discuss with clients, and enough for me to learn and absorb new knowledge. For the little girl three years ago, this was probably hard to imagine.
~ Having a free and independent lifestyle
This is the biggest thing that happened in the last three years—achieving a dream and reaping the sweet fruits of the seeds I planted almost four years ago. Back then, no one believed in me except myself. I walked alone, made solitary efforts. Eventually, that seed grew over the years, allowing me to have financial and time freedom. I can travel and explore different places while still making money, I can have more freedom to choose where I want to live. From June 2022 to May 2023, I wandered through South America for a whole year. At the moment, I returned to Hoi An, to let myself rest a bit and prepare for the next adventure.
~ Developing professional and business skills
Being a freelancer is like running a small business. I’ve self-learned a lot, from professional thinking to business strategies. I applied the knowledge I’ve gained into practice, especially now as I manage my own team. The little girl from three years ago probably couldn’t have imagined that one day she would work directly with big clients like Microsoft with contracts in her name.
~ Meeting the love of my life
This is probably the most wonderful thing in my life. It was a short but beautiful period. Meeting N at a time when we both knew we wouldn’t be able to accompany each other on the next journey. But the two of us still chose to be together, short-term. Gently and peacefully, love and be loved.
Being with N, I discovered another version of myself—gentle, feminine, quite different from my previous rigid self. N brought out beauty within me, things I never thought I could do. Being with N, I realized what I truly love, what really connects me, ignoring society’s definitions of success.
A small place, a beautiful garden. I wrote poetry, painted, baked, and deeply connected with nature. During that time, I experienced many “firsts.” Just sitting next to each other, just looking into each other’s eyes, without saying anything, we still can understand what the other was thinking. We could spend hours together watching the clouds drift by, counting stars. To meet once, to feel that love once, I’m ready to step in no matter what comes next.
~ Falling into depression and internal struggles
Depression often doesn’t come from a specific reason but accumulates from various events until it spills over. Fear of failure, fear of being hurt, and losing self-confidence make me avoid and not truly face my own emotions.
Living a freelance life, there is no 8-hour office job pushing me to wake up every day, there are not many things to keep me busy. That means, if I’m sad, I’ll sink deeply into my sadness. There’s no one, nothing to motivate me to get up. I’ve gone through many long months like that, broken, internal struggles, depressed. I closed myself into my own world, had difficulty feeling the things around me, and had no desire to meet anyone.
~ Healing and overcoming depression
At the time of typing these words, I’m still in the process of overcoming depression. There are still days when it’s hard for me to find reasons to get up. There are still days when I just lie down and let time fly. There are still times I cry without reason. But I know I’m getting through it. I choose to face myself, truly listen to myself instead of trying to avoid it. I choose to face my old wounds and slowly untangle the knots. I choose to look deeply inside to understand what I truly want. I know there’s so much beauty in the world to discover.
During this challenging journey, Tony chose to stay by my side, listen, and accompany me. Even though, I hurt him a lot. He doesn’t say words of love, but he always shows love through actions, always being there for me.
~ Having my dream team
I used to think that I didn’t want to build an agency because I was afraid of being tied to something, afraid of being responsible to others, afraid of losing my freedom. Until I met the right people. I discovered other ways to use my strengths in business management while still having my balance and freedom. The me from a few years ago probably couldn’t imagine a day when I could have a dream team. We share the same vibe and work perspective. So everything runs so smoothly and effortlessly. We work and we grow professional and soft skills together. The best part is that each member can be themselves without any extra masks.
~ Sharing values
I started a YouTube channel in Jan 2023, stepping out to share my experiences, knowledge, and mindset. But I don’t set any goals or target numbers for it. It’s simply about sharing my experiences because I truly needed that sharing four years ago. Just that!
I’ve taken a step back from my YouTube channel and almost stopped blogging. Because I was dealing with my depression, I was also not ready to lose my personal life’s privacy. I’m also not strong enough to handle negative energy from social media.
Although I temporarily paused sharing with the public, in 2023, I did some 1-1 coaches. I’m happy to have played a part in making significant changes in the lives of at least two of my mentees.
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Planting Seeds of Intention for the Coming Year
There are many lessons I am still learning and many things I am still working on. I would like to plant some seeds of intention that I would love to spend my time nurturing them in 2024.
~ Listen to myself to understand my true needs
~ Living as my whole true self, from inside out
~ Be brave enough to follow my heart without fear of it falling apart
~ Control my emotions better
~ Build more positive routine for myself
~ Take care of myself, both physically and mentally
~ Continue to create the working environment that I dreamed of for my team
~ Done is better than perfect
That’s all! This is the end of my sharing!
Wishing you a new year truly being yourself!
No goals absolute doesn’t mean you stop achieving things. It means you stop letting yourself be limited by goals.
Let’s open your mind to going places you never expected to go. Living without goals, you’ll explore new territory. You’ll learn some unexpected things. You’ll end up in surprising places.
No matter what path you find, no matter where you end up, it’s beautiful. There is no bad path, no bad destination. It’s only different, and different is wonderful. Don’t judge, but experience.
